5 Things That We Think Sean Should Do in Chicago This Weekend

1. Fulfill life’s destiny by reenacting Bender scenes from the Breakfast Club
2. Talk to Oprah about not being gay
3. Visit Playboy HQ and talk about college girls
4. Tell at least one person at the Pitchfork Festival that Os Mutantes without Rita Lee is like Labelle without Patti
5. Throw hotel party and allow friends to take pictures of you in compromising positions, which said friends will then make publicly available on Flickr