Whole Foods to Hire Sean

I’ve been worried about Sean. He, the king of Philadelphia all-ages-DIY-punk-rawk, was about to see his empire fall from the missteps of a bunch of unwelcome and unfashionable (yeah I know, same thing) crust punks. So I did the first thing any Agnewbian would do: I sent a suggestion to Whole Foods on South Street.

Normally Whole Foods is completely unresponsive to my advice...like the time I commented that “Gays, anorexics, and diabetics DEMAND Splenda.” Seriously, why must we go to a different store for our zero calorie, artificially sweetened bliss packets? Only an idiot actually believes that it's "made from sugar so it tastes like sugar," and there are studies, scientific studies that point to a genetic basis for all three of the above tendancies/dispositions/afflications. We need it! It's in our genes!

But anyway, I'm happy to see that Whole Foods finally listened.

Don't say I never did anything for Sean.